Type 2
Dominant Center: Heart
Along with Types 3 and 4, Type 2 is dominant in the Heart Center and is therefore referred to as an “image type,” because the ego of the Heart Center is built around crafting and displaying an image for the world to see. This means that, like 3s and 4s, the fundamental unconscious agenda of Type 2 is to convince their world that they, the Heart Type, are the person as whom they would like to be seen. Because of this, the Heart Types typically have a particularly performative aspect to the way they appear in the real world. This doesn’t mean every Heart Type is destined for the stage; it means that when interacting with them, you can often feel the Heart Type trying to advertise how they would like you to see them. For 2, that image is smiley, warm, and caring, devoid of selfishness. Metaphorically, 2s are force-feeding their viewer an image that is saccharine and oversaturated.
Something to remember is that Type 2’s focus on crafting an image underpins all of its functions and frills – all of the other details that form a Heart Type (such as its Hornevian Stance, Harmonic Triad, or Object Relation) return to the unconscious (or sometimes semi-conscious) drive to show to the world who they say they are – and to have verified in return that that image is understood as intended. The Heart Types want to believe that others see them the way they desire to be seen – and for 2, that means being seen as kind, caring, unselfish, and indispensable.
Passion: Pride
Type 2 learns from an early age to orient toward others as the center of their universe – there is a tendency for 2s to desire a role as one that orbits and supports, offering necessary value without being the star of the show. People of this type love to be able to offer help and nurture to others as a way of securing attention and value. Type 2 unconsciously believes they are not allowed to be “about” themselves, so they end up hunting down this value by way of creating intense, deep relationships with others. This other-oriented directionality is at the core of how Type 2 sees the world, and they tend to be perceiving the needs and feeling states of others more than anything else.
In an aim to be unexpendable to others, 2s learn an image of flexibility and generosity. However, behind this self-concept is actually a rigid and unidirectional agenda of loving others (and consequently being loved in return) on 2’s own specific terms. 2s feel that they need to be selfless in order to be loved for who they are – without having “earned” their value by giving to another, they will unconsciously resist receiving what they want. This is precisely what Pride is for Type 2 – their obsession with others’ lives and their desire to be needed by others makes it nigh impossible for 2s to humbly receive from others without having made themselves deserving beforehand. Pride breeds a dynamic that says, “You need me, but I will never need you.” However, 2s do have needs like everyone else, but their ego’s insistence on remaining blind to them makes it so that 2s unconsciously try to get their needs met without ever having to come in contact with the sticky feeling of vulnerability that accompanies dependence on another.
2s accidentally make relationship a river flowing only ever in one direction, rather than a two-way street. Even though they are the ones perpetuating such a way of relating, 2s quickly become fed up with others for not “doing their part” in a relationship. There’s a tendency for 2s to feel that they have given far more of their time, thought, energy, and attention than their loved ones have offered in return. It’s rare that 2s can find the same intensity of affection from others, who usually fail to sufficiently satiate the hunger for intimacy that 2s feel. It doesn’t take long before 2s find themselves with an itch of bitterness in their chest, caught between waiting for others to see (unprompted) their unmet desires and dropping hints at what they want, indirectly demanding that they, too, be loved. This is the issue for 2s – they have ostensibly endless relational appetites but are unwilling to express the ins and outs of what they truly feel they need, lest their magnanimous, heroic image be threatened. It’s shortsighted to think that this is an intentional move on Type 2’s part; rather, it is Pride that blinds them from even becoming aware of their own truest desires, particularly wants that are any more self-focused than serving others.
It is not uncommon to find 2s taking on a mantle of martyrdom that may leave others feeling guilty – or perhaps, rolling their eyes. There’s a drama hidden behind 2’s Pride, and their all-knowing, godlike persona of benevolence can quickly devolve into a state of desperation. They can become alarmingly vengeful or pleading, depending on what they irrationally presume will get them back within the good graces of those whose boundaries they’ve crossed. This is where the term “manipulation” shows up for Type 2 – because even in their messiest spirals of hyperemotionality and anger, a 2’s Pride will not allow them to see their own intentions as anything other than pure, so expressing the greedier parts of their hearts is usually a circuitous game they play with others, full of misdirection, claimed “accidents,” and even vindictive behaviors.
Type 2s are deeply invested in believing themselves to be good and kind, so when interpersonal conflict demands someone be to blame, 2s may very likely make dramatic, self-effacing gestures of apology while still internally believing that others are at fault. This tendency to externally martyr themselves while rarely feeling that their “love” was selfish is what usually costs 2s the intimacy they so desire. Others may feel that 2s are not being totally honest or “real” with their apologies, because many of their emotionally indirect gambits will resume not long after a conflict is resolved. Self-blaming is something 2s frequently do vocally, despite remaining “justified” within the high, fortified walls of their own superego.
Hornevian Stance: Compliant
Karen Horney developed three types of personality that map effectively on to the Enneagram. Her theory suggests that everyone learns one of three responses in an attempt to get what they want. The Assertive Types (3, 7, and 8) move past (or against) others, the Compliant Types (1, 2, and 6) move toward others, and the Withdrawn Types (4, 5, and 9) move away from others in order to get what they want. Each type does this differently within their respective dominant Center. Type 2, as a Compliant Heart Type, is cultivating image by moving toward others in their environment, earning their value by means of sacrificing their desires for others.
The Hornevian Stance of Type 2 (as well as Types 1 and 6) is the Compliant Stance, meaning that 2s must move toward the world to earn what they desire. While every Enneagram type has a superego with its own “should”s, the Compliant Types especially struggle with an overinflated superego which utilizes guilt, duty, and obligation to propel the personality. For Type 2, as a Rejection Type, this sense of obligation manifests around the relationships they are obsessively managing. 2’s agenda, therefore, is driven by their heart’s impulses and “should”s that surface in response to what they feel others need from them. 2s end up believing that they will only be liked insofar as they are needed. Of course, people of many core types may want to be liked, but it is important to understand that 2’s ego structure is hinged upon this detail – whether or not they know it, 2s do not consider being likable a luxury. To Type 2, being desired by others is a necessity, so they feast upon their internal impulses on behalf of others. And while many types can also feel obligated to put others before themselves, 2s leap at any opportunity to make sacrifices for their loved ones – and then advertise the oblations they gave of their own accord.
The Compliant Types tend to take action with a manner of serious conviction. While Type 6 looks to context to mentally determine what their duties are, Types 1 and 2 are more immovable and less contextual in their convictions. This means the duties of 1s and 2s may appear immovable to others, and it can make them sometimes look like Know-It-Alls — after all, they believe they are doing the “right thing.” Type 2’s feelings of responsibility are funneled through their Heart Center, and that makes their duties typically coated with plenty of emotionality, empathy, and expressiveness. 2s are emotional people, and others will see that.
2s earn the way they would like to be seen by becoming fixated on what they believe other people desire; consequently, their image does its best to become the solution to others’ wants. This means that there is necessarily a martyrdom in the way 2s engage with other people – their own desires, wants, and agendas appear seemingly nonexistent, or buried somewhere far away, while others’ hopes are prioritized (and actualized) to the best of Type 2’s ability. Unfortunately, Type 2 is overconfident in its estimation of what others need, so the motivators behind their actions are often distorted misperceptions of what a 2’s loved ones want.
In the end, 2s position themselves as the unsung hero in the memoirs of their loved ones’ lives, hoping to have earned the spotlight on the dedication page. This emphasis on doing what is “right” for others is often where 2s get into trouble. In line with the Passion of Pride, 2’s feelings around what others need can manifest in intrusive though ostensibly well-intentioned behaviors, often insisting others receive their help, regardless of whether it comes in the form the receiver may desire. When others reject or aim to reshape the format of the love 2s aim to give, 2s tend to take it personally and double down in their efforts, struggling to adapt their affections without feeling that others don’t receive them as they are.
Harmonic Style: Positive Outlook
The Harmonic Styles refer to how the nine types learn to unconsciously handle life as it confronts them with unpleasant realities. While the Reactive Types (4, 6, and 8) use pessimism, emotional expression, and skepticism, and the Competency Types (1, 3, and 5) use neutrality, mastery, and unemotionality, the Positive Outlook Types (2, 7, and 9) use optimism, denial, and reframing to handle their problems. This positivity is almost never an intentional delusion; rather, the Positive Types – even when they are unhealthy – distort their experience with pleasantness as they struggle to stomach the darker parts of reality.
This does not mean that all 2s are optimists — plenty of 2s can be pessimistic, depressed, irritable, or have a “woe-is-me” attitude. As a Heart Type, 2’s “Positive Outlook” is funneled into their self-image. This means that, on default, 2s are automatically filtering any qualities that aren’t “good” out of their self-concept, refusing to consciously see the parts of themselves that are too negative, twisted, needy, or anything more selfish than they would prefer to see.
2s can jump through a seemingly endless series of hoops to preserve their sense of their own pure intentions – this is the Positive Outlook manifesting in the form of image. Conflicts born of 2s' intrusiveness can cause their Pride to leak out. Even when they are staunchly in the wrong, 2s can persistently believe and express that they only ever meant well, and that all they did was expressly for the person they care about. 2s become alarmingly self-pitying if others insinuate that their over-involvement is unwanted, unnecessary – or worse, selfishly motivated. In such scenarios, they tend to throw up their hands, doing all they can to avoid blame, and saying things like, “Is this really what you think of me?” Their transition from hero to victim can be instantaneous, dramatic, and frightening to others. They can effectively do the opposite of what others want in order to repair or strengthen a relationship – instead, they are driven away by 2’s fading mirage of not wanting anything for themselves. In fact, if Type 2 is willing to face the thing they fear the most – their own neediness – they would have what they most desire: true, honest relationship with others.
Object Relation: Rejection
(of the Protecting Object)
Type structure is built through a learned way of orienting toward the world through an Object Relation, which is a dynamic that forms as a child learns how they relate toward their parent(s). As a Compliant Type, 2 is oriented toward the Protecting Object, who metaphorically is Father, the one who provides the child with a sense of confidence in their own ability to move into the world to pursue their own dreams, agendas, and plans, guiding them along the way. However, every child receives and absorbs some form of wounding from their parents, and their psyche consequently learns to orient toward the world through an internalized Object – a distorted minimization of what should be the parent. This Object is not a full person; rather, the Object is a representation of the supplier of the child’s needs that did not do its job. The Protecting Object is meant to be a function that encourages and brings independence to the child by cultivating their individuation, a need which Type 2’s psyche does not perceive to be met.
The Compliant Types experience a perceived wound from the Protecting Object when they begin to learn how to move toward the things they desire, but feel unsupported in their attempts to make autonomous, self-motivated decisions. This sense of hurt from being overlooked by Father leaves the ego feeling as though it is unable – or perhaps, unallowed – to charge toward its own goals and wants. As such, the Compliant Types learn to do not what they most want, but what they feel is morally obligatory or necessary. This means that a pattern of guilt underpins Types 1, 2, and 6. When the Protecting Object fails to support and guide the child, Type 6 Attaches to Him, Type 1 becomes Frustrated with Him, but Type 2 Rejects Him.
The Rejection affect is defined by the psyche’s repression of the part of self that is wounded: the part that is not sufficiently parented by the Object. What follows this removal of their own vulnerable and damaged part is an overcompensation through the remaining, undamaged part. For the Rejection Types, this is their dominant Center of Intelligence. For 2s, Rejection of the Protecting Object manifests as a denial of any sense of ever having had their own goals or dreams – Type 2’s psyche removes their autonomous, self-motivated part of self so as to be undamageable.
The extremism of this reaction to their wound is twofold in its consequences. Primarily, to deny their need for a Protecting Object means that Father’s rejection of 2 is contained to an extraneous, disposable area of the child’s psyche. If 2s choose to believe they never needed Father, then his rejection cannot possibly wound them. Severing their own pathway or connection to their Guide allows 2s to feel completely invulnerable to further rejection. They amputate their independent part of self – the part they believe was the cause of Father’s rejection.
By denying any need for Father’s support, Type 2 is left entirely in a realm of Mothering, where they identify with the role that feels untainted by feelings of Rejection – the Nurturing Object. This means that, unconsciously, 2 believes the hero they ought to identify themselves with is Mother. Unlike Type 3’s Attachment to the Nurturing Object, Type 2 is not aiming to feel seen by Mother; rather, 2 becomes a replica of Mother to prevent themselves from confronting the half of their psyche that was maimed. This copy-and-paste response of the Nurturing role onto the self is what gives Type 2 its classically feminine archetype, becoming sensitive, expressive, and emotional — a gushing caretaker who gifts the forceful, intense affection others feel from them. Rejection Types are the most extreme representation of their dominant Center – and for 2, that’s the Heart.
The unconscious narrowing of their existence to the Nurturing plane means that Type 2’s ego cannot bear to be confronted with its own neglected need for Protection. Even the idea of pursuing one’s own goals and agendas (without having “earned” it) can turn 2s into an incredibly irate and defensive bear, unwilling to see the spaces where they might be anything other than a mothering role to others. This mimicry of the Nurturing Object makes 2 a paramount force of love and affection to be given. Yet with such a singular role carrying their self-concept, every time they cannot be Mother, 2s are forced to remember the deficit of supportive love they never received from Father.
This is what makes 2s classically repulsed by others’ attempts to help them in return. While it seems 2s wear their hearts on their sleeves, they struggle with being truly known not only as someone with wounds, but as someone with anything other than pure and innocent intentions. This is a trend with the Rejection Types: they offer their power to others, but there is a sacrifice that must be made for such an offering. When 2’s are in a position that is not the mothering role, they are forced to reengage with their own need to pursue their true desires. This need to have an agenda for the self, to have goals for one’s own selfish assertion, should be fulfilled, ideally, by the Protecting Object. When 2 cannot play Mother, there is a violent awakening for them to the part of themselves that they had long ago cleaved. 2s struggle to handle a role that is not Giver, because they must make contact with a ghost – the independent, self-possessed half of themselves.
Offering their Heart as a shield to conceal their wounded parts makes it fairly common for 2s to live in a way that appears vulnerable to others on the surface, but they remain invulnerable to true hurt or influence. It’s common for 2s to be people who are easily offended and quite emotionally expressive – many are willing and able to cry at any given moment. This comfort with ostensibly vulnerable behaviors denotes that 2s aren’t actually vulnerable. On the surface, 2s can seem to be extremely sensitive people. The offering of their Heart seems bloody, raw, real, accessible – yet such an offering is not vulnerable for 2s the way it would be for other types. True vulnerability for Type 2 is something that occurs outside the realm they dominate – the wet, sensitive, and expressive Heart space. This is something 2s rarely understand, perceiving themselves to be much more vulnerable and open than they actually are.
Common Misconceptions
The structures of the Enneagram types are rarely understood at an elemental level. Without knowing the “bones” of a type, many supposed Enneagram teachers have written terribly misleading descriptions of each type. No type is an exception to this issue, so by examining the specific parts of 2, we hope to re-illustrate some of the more confusing or inaccurate conceptions of this type.
Type 2 is often painted as a self-sacrificing pushover with no sense of how to set their own boundaries or get what they want. And while it’s true that 2s struggle to say “no,” they’re much more likely to have a hard time honoring others’ “no”s. 2s absolutely do have boundary issues, and while they often overextend themselves, being too available to the perceived needs of others, 2s operate with an intense force of conviction. 2s wants are often quite specific and powerful, driving much of how they behave. The reason 2s run into trouble is that these convictions are motivated by their own needy and greedy parts – the parts of themselves with which they have the least psychic contact. Consequently, while 2s do often feel the need to sacrifice their preferences for others, their own desires almost always get mixed in with their ostensibly altruistic agenda. 2s have a hard time saying “no” to their own interpretations of what others need and the compulsion to act on those interpretations.
Regarding the issue of boundaries, by nature, 2s do not feel the need for them; rather, 2s must learn their importance. Contrasted with 9s, who often want to establish boundaries but don’t feel able to, 2s’ psyches are functionally estranged from the part of themselves that is allowed to be overtly selfish and guarded. Boundaries aren’t a goal 2s yearn for yet cannot fulfill – boundaries are extremely nauseating to their unconscious. By default, 2s implicitly believe that boundaries inhibit them from being sufficiently close to the ones whom they love (or want to be loved by). What is quite true is that 2s have an issue with others’ boundaries, but this is a response to their Rejection of the Protecting Object, producing in 2s an automatic reluctance to believe that boundaries in their environment are necessary or that they apply to the 2.
The Rejection Types learn to relate to other people (or “objects,” as the psyche sees them) as things toward which the singular, conscious portion of the self is directed. This means the leftover, unsevered portion of the ego (the dominant Center of Intelligence) is unconsciously offered to people with whom the Rejection Types interact. For Type 2, this means the energy of the Heart Center – wet, affectionate, emotional care and nurturance – is thrust forth into other people’s fields of existence. This is the very basis of how the Rejection Types learn to engage – by shoving the energy of their dominant Center toward others as a means of remaining out of touch with their neglected parts of self.
Understanding the structure of Type 2, it is much more reasonable to frame up 2’s boundary issues as more other-oriented than self-oriented. And while it’s possible that Type 2s can allow others to cross their boundaries, 2s more often fail to establish internal boundaries to keep their interactions with others appropriate and considerate of others’ true desires, rather than what 2s believe others need.